When you have to go, you have to go...

It's important to keep a degree of verisimilitude in movies but does that always have to include a male urination scene?

The most comprehensive list ever compiled here.

Fear and Loathing for $35/$45

Las Vegas once had a certain seedy charm and it was the hub of performers who were passed their prime but still held a kind of allure.

With the proliferation of native american casinos however that dynamic has been fire-hosed all over the U.S. and lost its appeal .

It's now up to you whether to pay $35/$45 to see Loverboy on April 5th.

They call me Skin. Mister Skin.

We like to see our favorite movie stars naked as much as the next guy.

But Mr. Skin (who went mainstream in last year's "Knocked Up") takes things to an obsessive level -- revealing tidbits like Nicole Eggert's "side boob" at the 43:55-minute-mark of "The Haunting of Morella."

That's a lot of fast-forwarding to find the shadowy silhouette of a naughty part. And charging us $29.95 a month for the privilege? Obscene.

Bye, five

The high-five has served us well for generations -- a hip update on the old-fashioned handshake.

Slapping some skin seems sad now, for some reason. Young guys don't do it, and the old guys who do seem to be reaching for street cred well beyond their reach.

Enjoy your retirement, high five. You've earned a rest someplace in Arizona -- we hear there's a nice place next to the fist bump.

The energy drink/weightloss scam in a convenient hybrid spray

We should have seen this one coming.

As soon as Oprah, Rachael Ray, et al started rocketing the acai berry into the fad diet/increased energy stratosphere, an acai berry spray couldn't be far off.

And you don't have to go to the Amazon to get it.

Bad Ass 101

So, Junior, you want to be a Satan-worshipping bad ass. Here are a few wardrobe rules:

* Your seven-faces-of-Death shirt should not be purchased in the Young Men's Department at Kohls.

* Said shirt should not come in an "athletic cut with plenty of room to move!"

* A tag-free neckline that promises all-day comfort will not put you in good standing with El Diablo.

It's a sham shame

You work your whole life to become a pitchman for a super-absorbent, German-made towel and it's all undone in seconds when a prostitute bites down on your tongue and won't let go.

When life gets messy who knows better than Vince Shlomi how to clean it up though?