Restaurants imitating art galleries

Artists that have pieces for sale on the walls of restaurants must think at some point the following will occur:

Waitress: Is there anything else I can get you tonight?

Customer: Why yes, as a matter of fact I simply must have that oil painting of a rooster, could you please wrap it up with my leftover beef tips?

Of course none of the art ever sells, but that means patrons get to go right on admiring all the lovely watercolors behind the salad bar.

All my best friends are named Peabo

"Tonight, I Celebrate My Love For You" -- Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson

Even Worse Than Riverdance

Somehow combining the worst of traditional Appalachian, African-American and Cherokee dance, clogging today is one noisy, clumsy-looking hybrid.

You'd think something this awful would have died out by now, but you can bet there will be one tie-dyed chick at the Dave Matthews concert stomping up a storm.

They wear special orthopedic shoes, so make sure your toes are clear.

Oooh, thank you

Everyone has hit the free sample station at the grocery store before.

And Sam's Club has lots of them.

But the dumbest is the woman that has to wear rubber gloves and a hairnet to hand out samples of sunscreen.

Like the people that shop at Sam's ever do anything outside.

Octoomuch

Ok, she's got the reality show coming up and here she slams Kate, but we've just got the feeling that Octumom doesn't have much longer.

We could be wrong, we also didn't think it was possible to have 8 babies.

Jesus Christ, Surfer Star

We guess there's nothing wrong with a UK church commissioning a statue of a contemporary Christ -- the aptly titled "Jesus in Jeans."

But if The Guy is coming back, would He really do it looking like Matthew McConaughey?

Get in the litter box

Unless you've escaped from a production of "Cats" there's really no valid reason to be wearing feline facepaint.