WARNING: Do Not Read This if You Have Moral, Ethical Or Religious Reasons Forcing You To Cower Helplessly While Someone Attacks Your Wife Or Your Kids

Meet Captain Chris, "an unarmed combat instructor for members of the US & UK Special Forces and dozens of military and para-military professionals and mercenaries around the globe."

He'll teach you to be unbeatable in the street, no matter your age or fitness level.

It even "works against NAZIS." You can learn "how to make someone who tries to choke you literally drown in his own spit. (Frankly, you have to see this one to believe it—it's that incredible.)"

We're not really the violent types, but frankly, we're intrigued.

(Thanks, Patricia Ohanian Lundstrom!)

You won't have any trouble finding The Lost Symbol

With an initial print run of between 5 and 6.5 million copies there's no way you'll be able to walk into an airport, through a park or on a beach without tripping on The Lost Symbol.

Expect to see Tom Hanks rooting around a lot of underground tunnels in the movie.