New Rules for Presidential Addresses

1. If it wouldn't be allowed in a third-grade classroom, it's not allowed during a Presidential speech to Congress.

2. If you accuse someone of lying, you got to back that shit up.

3. If you don't like government-supplied health insurance, please give up yours and give it to someone who does.

Settling the Mac Vs. PC Thing Once And For All

You're both dorks.

Vampires - blaugh!

Vampires, vampires, vampires - they're getting to be a bit much - what someone needs to do is take a good, hard, critical look at all the lore and see what adds up. What we need is a satire on the genre that doesn't pander...

Well, well - looky here, it seems someone has done just that. Maybe we'll let vampire thing hang around a little longer.

GET A LIFE

A manager in New Zealand was fired recently for reprimanding her employees with emails written in ALL CAPS.

Her style was found to cause DISHARMONY IN THE WORKPLACE, so she was FIRED WITHOUT WARNING.

If her employer has nothing better to worry about than people's email uppercase/lowercase style, she's probably better off working somewhere else.

Even if she does SOUND LIKE A BITCH.

The Sweet, Reliable Ride Thieves Count On

The number one stolen car in America? The 1994 Honda Accord.

Apparently, America's hoodlums appreciate the reliable safety record and 4-cylinder power of this fuel-efficient family sedan.

Our dads have never looked cooler.

Sweat & Minor Threat

This could be the next exercise fad to come down the pike: "Punk Rope" - which basically is a lot like jumping rope until you see the kilted instructor and realize it's totally punk.

Waving around swords, crawling on the ground - completely crazy workouts that couldn't possibly be achieved with pushups, situps or taking a run.

As usual MSN is all over this latest juggernaut, check out their college-level coverage of it here.

Wrap Rage

Three annoying things about the clamshell package:

1. The half-hour it takes to get the effing thing open.

2. The fact that the precious cargo inside is usually the cheapest phone/mp3 player/children's toy on the shelf.

3. The puncture wound from the kitchen knife you used to open it requires four stitches and a tetanus shot.