* The indeterminate period between food preparation and our arrival at said foodstuff
* The weird junior high chemistry lab burners keeping the food warm
* The swarthy fellow out on work release carving the roast beef
* The six-year-old just ahead of us sticking his elbow into everything
* Serving utensils touched by everyone in the room -- and where was the last place besides a buffet you actually saw tongs?
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